ARTICLE
My lockdown experience was a bit more challenging than I thought it was going to be. Even though this is now my second time going through it, this period was definitely more difficult than the first. In August last year, I moved from Barbados to Birmingham, England, to pursue my photography studies. I had to leave behind a lot of things, including close friends, equipment and my family. To add to this, I moved in the middle of a pandemic where my studies are now affected. My country's first lockdown ended after I left, which lasted six months at the end of August. Though we weren't given a specific date at the start of the second lockdown, I thought I would cope fairly well with the situation.
As Christmas came and went, some of my older family members started to fall ill. I was anxious since two of them were found to have cancer. I was worried about both of them, but they were both seeking treatment. Sadly one of them passed away before getting that treatment and was a good friend of my grandmother Florine, and she shortly after fell ill and
passed weeks after her birthday.
Hearing the news of my grandmother really hit the hardest. My other grandparents passed away when I was still young, so I never got to really know them. Granny Florine was very sassy for someone at her age. She had many children and grandchildren but still manage to visit all of us and cause an equal amount of trouble. She regularly travelled to meet the family, and it was a shame that we all couldn't go to her funeral.
Though my college work kept me fairly busy throughout, I could still feel the sadness and darkness hovering over me. The darkness came from me being confined in my home during the winter when the sun rarely shone. The rooms in my home felt cramped, and it felt like the air in the room, and my words were choking me. The few times I actually got to go out, I had to wear a mask for protection, but it was still suffocating. The masks began to blind me. I was constantly looking to see if someone was wearing one or not.
I fell like because I was staying in one place, my thoughts were running in my mind. "You have to do this assignment next, add more to the last one, watch a movie, sleep, eat!". I constantly thought those things, but even then, it felt like an unfulfilling routine. Eventually, I snapped myself out of it. I went out for walks more and took lots of photographs as well. Have to stay inside was not healthy physically or mentally. I felt more at ease, and as spring begins to roll in, the sun and light are breaking through the darkness little by little.
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